Ricochet, bang, bang
Boomerang,
All in vain.
Give me back my Sanity.

Not black, nor white,
Minus the beauty of the rainbow,
All is gray.
Give me back my Sanity.

As my words pierce the page,
Like a new piece of metal ran deep through my skin,
Yet, once again,
Circles, pitfalls, bittersweet rainfall.
Give me back my Sanity.

It could all be so simple,
But you’d rather make it hard,
Deeper than the soul in a Lauryn Hill song.
Just give me back my Sanity.

…Or watch me slowly diminish,
until I’m left with nothing but the urge,
to run,
run fast and far,
away from this insanity.
Into the quiet, peaceful night,
Until it turns to day,
And I can finally bask in the glory,
Of….birds of love, winds of redemption, and genuine flowers of happiness,
Letting the warmth of an all-too-perfect Sun, embrace me,
Overshadowing the dark past,
Wrapping its sweet rays around my waist.

But…until the clouds lift and the tearmarks on my notebook fade,
I will continue to plead,

Give me back my Sanity!

I cried, again, last night,
Except there were no tears,
No sobs could be heard,
They’ve all been reserved,
By a mind come to realize that crying’s absurb.

I slept, again, last night,
On a pillow of old tears, knitted by you,
Wrapped in the quilt of your guilt,
But my hurt, was the only thing that kept me warm.

I dreamt, again, last night,
But this time there was no nightmare of you being here,
Yes, no nightmare of an unauthentic happiness,
No fear crippled by blind trust.

There was only the sweet escape offered to me by the knowledge of the truth,
Sad, yet, real,
Cold like steel,
And still,
I won’t run from my dreams,
Because they show me, subconsciously,
That pain and love, are make believe,
Nothing more than figments of a naïve imagination.
Neither can exist without the other.
And neither exists.
They are simply words, notions made up to give meaning to something that cant be defined, understood, or controlled.
Accept it.
Take my morphine away, and don’t tell me there’s hope,
Give me an I.V. full of reality,
I wish you could see, what I see….

Palms sweatin, Mind racin, contemplatin,

when i see you

even if its in my mind

its like time,

stops. freezes. just for a second.

then reality again,

the brick wall that says it’ll never be,

let’s face it,

you and me,

have a destiny,

to be just friends,

cause you’ll never see me,

the way i see you,

true. genuine. suave.

man,

here i go again,

caught up in thoughts of you

makin me blue

what should i do?

give me a clue.

Me + you

Cause from the moment I met you I knew.

Spinnin, twirlin, twilight zone

You got me in the mix

Caught up in your scent

I remember it from way back when

When I met you

How long ago was that?

Not too long

But still, My mind is gone

Im spinnin ’round

In my emotions I drown

Im losin it,

Whats happenin?

You strapped me in

But never told me bout the ride

Never said I’d be inside

This bubble that im in

Wonderin…

Dang what could we have

What could we do

Take the world be storm

Me and you

We’d make a helluva team

As we dream

Fulfill this prophesy

Take on any obstacle, you see?

Think it could be?

Ha ha – maybe we’ll see…..

My big sis posted a status that got me thinking: "Somethings in life have the Humpty Dumpty effect once they are broken they are never the same, either the pieces don't fall back into place or if they do you can still see the cracks in it!"...and this is what i came up with:

But Angels Still Whisper

This humpty dumpty heart of mine
Pieces lying on the floor
Hard as stone
Cold as ice
Beat beat beat
Flatline.
But angels still whisper “be still”.

Its not ur fault im broken
Its my fault I let u break me.
A thousand pieces,
For who to collect?
Scattered in the wind.
My loss, for your win
But angels still whisper “be patient”.

Trapped in the fog,
Wrapped in the mist,
Torn and tattered,
Dismissed.
A bittersweet elixir, the devil’s kiss.
Panic.
But angels still whisper “fret not”.

Black magic? No, black makeup smeered,
A dripping façade, oasis of tears.
A face covered in grief,
Disbelief,
Staring at a heart that used to be whole,
Until you held it.
But angels still whisper “seek peace“.

A heart once worth far more than rubies,
Rubbish,
What happened to, you break it, you buy it?
You owe me.
Who’s going to compensate,
the price I paid for lies that you sold me.
But angels still tell me “I am with you always”.

I actually forgot to post this a while back. It's a slam poem, so it's probably better to HEAR it than read it and i've edited the profanity (i guess you could call it, the radio version lol)...Oh well here it is:

Valentines Day Slam

Baby,
Ima lean reaaaal close,
And whisper in your ear….
Cause all Ive got to say is…

Eff Valentines day.
Eff the flowers, the roses,
Kisses on noses,
Love letters by the doses,
It stinks like halitosis.
And too often, these hoes just,
Suck it up like osmosis.
I think its atrocious –-

That you need a time,
A reason,
A particular season
To tell me you love me.
And I sayyy
Why cant you love me everyday?
All I want you to do is show me in everyway.

But when posin that question,
I lack my disgression
And really what im sayin is:
Lie to me,
Tell me all the things I want to hear,
Like you love me,
You care,
You noticed I changed my hair,
Or These jeans look good,
(With you in them)
Or You think that we should…
Flirt with the fires of our warm embraces
Until the oxygen of our breathing causes chemical stasis
But in all actuality that’s only one phase of this,
Because you and i…
Aint ish to each other.
When we talking to our friends we keep dissing each other.
Cause I know on my end, never caught missin a brother.
Fallin head over heels for u, upsettin my mother,
When while im thinking of you, you probably kissin another.

I don’t have to sit
And pretend that you’re it
by putting up with your ish
Because im not, that chick.

See, I refuse, to be caught up in fairytales and lullabyes,
Because love, trust, and monogamy ,
Like santa clause,the toothfairy, and those kind of things
Are of the past.
Memories and dreams that shouldn’t last,
Once you’ve passed,
The age of seven.

See there were Two hearts beating,
My heart bleeding,
Your heart leaving,
Now im screaming.. “eff you” all of you..
Cause I put all of me
Into everything
every situation, with patience, I waited
gambling,
but never again will I let loves chips stack
Cant get into loving somebody like that
Cause I mess around and take a risk, not getting it back.
It’s a fact,
Roger that?
As I whisper in your ear,
And let you know that—

Love doesn’t exist.
Please, just let my words stick,
Soak them into your being,
Get them under your skin,
Like melanin.
And then…
Maybe you’ll answer my call,
Console my cries,
convince me to try,
to believe again.
Convert me,
Like an atheist turned to Christianity,
Like a muslim or Buddhist,
Give me no choice but to choose—this.
Us.
And instead of using your charm to make me blush,
Step up to the plate, and be a man, start making me trust.

That’s it.
That’s all I want.
Someone to prove to me,
That what I believe about love isn’t true, you see.