"I don’t wanna live where weakness is a strength and pain is a compromise to live this life" --Me.
Silly, Needy, Clingy with a hint of Low Self-esteem…
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Ladies, this probably describes you or someone that you know. I am TIRED, so tired, of seeing beautiful, smart, intelligent, black women fall victim to perpetuated stereotypes by men and their own effed up mindsets. I have to write about this, I see it EVERYDAY –social networks, books, LIFE. This is a plea to any woman who feels she is undeserving of OR in need of a man. (these are two different concepts). I’ve had it up to here, with the lonely tweets and needy statuses. GROW UP! Everyone has that ONE friend, who cannot FUNCTION without a man; always saying “I need a boyfriend” or “I’m so lonely”. They meet a guy and the next day, they’re making wedding plans! Then they wonder why they keep running guys off! You’re crazy! Stop looking so far into the future and focus on the NOW. You can’t even get to know the guy or show him the real you, because you’re too busy trying to formulate some ever-lasting relationship on the second day. NEWSFLASH: Not gonna happen!
Most times the smartest, most beautiful girls are the most needy and naïve. Yes, you would probably make a PERFECT girlfriend for someone, but you’re out there SEARCHING, turning over every bush and looking through every peephole. Chill, and what’s for you will be for you. Then there’s those girls that form these unbreakable emotional bonds through sex. Learn to tell the difference between being genuinely liked and just a f**k. Know what you are getting into BEFORE you take those steps, and if you’re not capable of handling it in hindsight, don’t do it! But if you ARE, then go balls in and accept/enjoy your decision, instead of crying on the phone to your girls when he disappears. Oh, and I have a CURE ALL solution for how to deal with “losing” the guy. Be able to stand on your own feet in the FIRST place. If you can’t be content in bed alone, now; watching movies alone, eating dinner alone, now, what makes you think you will be able to do it after being accustomed to someone’s company? Learn to love yourself, NO be IN love with yourself. I know it’s cliché, but truly, you can’t go looking for love from someone else if you don’t have it within. When you can truly function on your own, it is then you are ready to function with someone else. When you are in love with yourself, you demand a higher level of respect, and it will exude in your actions, causing negative treatment from a guy to be nearly impossible.
Speaking of negative treatment, my next point is this: no matter how hard we try, there are going to be men who just aren’t right, try to break us down, add us to a list, or just bide their time toying with our hearts. This is where your mindset comes in. As women, we have been programmed, essentially from birth, that we are to fall in love, serve our man, have a happy ending, blah blah blah. Sure that premise holds in ideology and in movies and books, but how many times have you witnessed it exemplified in REAL LIFE? This is where you have to be real with yourself, and begin to work on re-programming the overload of bullcrap that society has placed on our backs. This is where you say “I don’t HAVE to be that girl. I don’t HAVE to want that. Or act that way.” This is where you decide that, contrary to popular belief, being a woman does not mean needing a man. Women have this unfulfilled urge to “cuff” a dude or mark our territory. You don’t have to/need to do that, anything that’s worth anything can/will become that on it’s own. Forcing it is just going to push dude away and leave you looking stupid. Stop being naïve when you are “talking” to a guy and acting like you are the ONLY person he’s talking to. AND FELLAS, stop lying about the 20 females who you are all telling the SAME DAMN THING. People need to start being more 100% with each other and maybe some feelings can be spared in the end. Ladies, likewise, if you see he’s talking to 52 females and that’s okay FOR NOW, but you want something better in the future and you don’t think he has the potential to stop his lifestyle, stop wasting your time putting your faith and energy into something that you know isnt going anywhere.
And for the record, just cause a guy ACTS all “jealous” and like he “wants you to himself” doesn’t mean you are obligated to fall for it. That is just him fulfilling his own ego to see you get all goodly-eyed and think he actually cares. That guy who acts like you need to drop your life and become his ideal girl, try not calling him for 2 days, see if he notices? He'll be too busy feeding his ego, building his "team" andddd NOT worried about you. There's nothing that stands out more than a woman who can stand on her own two feet and will be doing the same with/or without him! I’ve OFTEN said “I’d rather be single, than go through what my friends in relationships go through” and until I find someone who sees eye-to-eye with me, holds me down like i hold him, and understands I'm not looking for some bullsh*t, bootleg, cliche' fairytale--that is just what I will be.
CONTENTLY SINGLE.
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2 comments:
HMMMMM i likes it i love a female with a brain.. good look
Good ish. I stand and applaud lol
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