This really seems like common sense, but I still think that people just don’t get it. When you are in a relationship, you simply CANNOT tell everyone your business. When you constantly make other people a part of your relationship, you are most certainly compromising any chance at success. NOBODY IN THE WORLD will care about your relationship, like you do! Everyone has that ONE friend/brother/sister, etc that they go to, to LISTEN to their problems, but that should be it. There are so many reasons to keep your relationship between yourself and your partner and here is why including friends could be detrimental:

Misery adores company. Sometimes, people who are supposed to be your friends are the very people that have wanted to see you fail from the start. They don’t want to lose their “party buddy” or they simply want to see you as miserable as they are.  They are selfish that they have to share you with someone else. They are biased because of their own taste in men/women and how it differs from yours. They do not agree with the way a relationship has “changed” or molded you into a better person. Regardless of what the underlying reasons may be, and regardless of if their intentions are to sabotage your relationship, there may be something inside of them that secretly wants to see you alone or at least not COMMITTED.

When you run to your friends with every little problem it can get to the point where they are almost expecting you to tell them something bad every time. Especially, when you downplay the good that your partner does (or the bad that you do to bring it on) and Super Size the bad.  Once you have vented and expressed your anger, then go back to your partner and forgive them, it is not as easy for other’s to forgive as you have.  This seems to strike a nerve in some people and they will make it their personal vendetta to see that your relationship never progresses or they will give you enough grief and insults that you eventually give up.  Your friends may NEVER forgive your partner for something they did, but I’m sure they would forgive their partner if they did the same. It’s so different when the shoe is on the other foot.

Plainly put, your friends have not experienced all the laughs, jokes, and heart-felt moments you’ve shared. They do not experience the connection that you and your partner have. Or even worse, you are expressing your problems to friends who are not even IN a relationship. These are the worst people to seek advice from, especially negative advice. You may even have friends who are in a relationship (with a different person everyday, or multiple people at a time). You cannot ask a Ladies Man, Hoe, or Player to guide you in your relationship. You cannot allow yourself to be influenced by people who do not even believe in exclusivity, loyalty, or faithfulness. If you have to seek advice, do it from people who are well grounded in their own relationships and the Word of God.

            There are some friends who will see you happy from the start and automatically think, “it’s too good to be true”. They will find any reason as to why the person is not right for you, and not one reason why you should be with them. These may even be people who are jealous of what you have found. They could possibly even feel as if you do not deserve the happiness and try to find any fault in your partner. Nonetheless, anything that your partner does will be grounds for a break-up and will never be right in their eyes. You will never be able to convince these people that your partner is a good person, with some flaws, because all they will ever see is the big neon sign flashing  “FLAWS”.

            This is the part where I really draw the line. There’s always that person who refuses to let you LIVE. If they do not agree with your decision to be with someone, they will make you pay for it every time you see them. They will nag, whine, and complain as if THEY are the one dating you. There should be something that strikes you odd about a friend that is willing to burn you at the stake for choosing to love someone. There is an ultimate problem if this person goes to great lengths to get other people behind them and tell your business to other’s in hopes of forming a revolt against you! That person seriously needs some help, and for you to tolerate people like that in your life, you will NEVER be happy, and they will NEVER be content with you making your own decisions.

            This goes hand in hand with what I said previously about the negative friend who seeks to form an alliance against you. What kind of friend is that? The person who makes it their personal duty to tell everyone else that you know all about your relationship problems. Usually, it’s the person who could do a lot better with keeping their mouth shut, because their own business is a lot more scandalous than yours! If you really want your relationship to be private, talk to your partner when you need to vent – or find some new friends.

            NO ONE, I repeat, no one will ever, ever, ever care about your relationship as much as you do. No one will know what its like to spend a day without that person or to imagine forever without that person. No one else can know exactly what will work for your relationship, any decision to end or continue your relationship should be solely to do with you, your partner, and ultimately God. Will that friend be there to keep you warm at night, or will they be out bed hopping and living the party lifestyle that they want to suck you into? Has that friend ever sat down and helped you make a list of pros and cons? Or only the cons? Jealousy is real, whether people realize it or not. Your friend could be upset that you have found the one thing that they are desperately searching for. No relationship is perfect, and the ones that you THINK are perfect is simply because they choose to do their laundry at home –not air it out in the streets.